the sun is so bright today
the river broke it up in a million pieces
it makes me think of cracking ice chips between my teeth
and the way if huffs down from the sky
breathing light over all the sharp corners and the
near-white metal under chipped paint

this exterior brightness seems so temporary
and i think that i used to inhale days like this
the sky so high that it turns navy, and my eyes can't focus on it anymore
but that was before
and i don't trust them any longer
the light, the blue, the ice-chips of sun
animating beard stubble and blue eyes
animating the potato chip bags schooling in the breeze
but not animating me
in my heart i've always had the feeling
that the face of the world could fade or peel back
could be drunk and make you as big as everything,
like you could fade out into the universe
without fading out completely

but now i have learned fear,
because i've lost things i needed, and still need
and i know it can happen
even, or especially, on days like this
when my heart wants to throb and bump with love
but finds only ashes, remembers ashes,
and looks ahead to more ashes coming
omega, oh nothing, oh zero