Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up.


if i won a million dollars, i'd audit classes at universities and work part time at an aquarium and a zoo. i'd travel everywhere, by myself and with family and friends, and i'd have an apartment in brooklyn, a house in maine and a house on the beach in mexico.

come on, Mega Millions.

i'll also accept donations, of course.