okay maybe not totally over
the not-smoking continues

i had a great lunch with mom and dad today. mom made a pork loin with amazing baked peach haves all brushed with butter and peach schnapps, which was really amazing, and grilled polenta and shrimp and tarragon garlic bread and salad and apple pie with ice cream. we washed it all down with montepulciano and vin santo. oof.

i watched "a home at the end of the world" just now. farrell might not have the best grip on the bobby character, but he's so transparent that i just forgot who he was, despite the caterpillar eyebrows. it made me think of wilcox and gerard. i didn't expect to like the film, so it was a pleasant surprise, plus ho-yay.

one more thing: the power of air conditioning. shout out to mymandy for procuring and installing the four-hundred and thirty-three dollar monster and propping it up with disused paperbacks and videotapes. oh, bless him, now the apartment's not a torture chamber and there's the added benefit of white noise, and being able to close the windows so we don't hear every single person in brooklyn walk by on the way to the park and the F train and the sidewalk sale, not to mention the xylophone weirdo down on the subway platform just noooooooooooooodling away like decent people don't need some blessed peace on sunday at ten am. also, germans upstairs, SHUT UP.

er, the not smoking. i had a cig last night after six days, and as i told the man this morning, it was like scratching an itch and not having get any less itchy. odd to think i've been smoking all these years and it turns out it's not what i wanted anyway. if it's not nicotine i was after, then what is it?